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Recorded by Scott, Phil, Zach and Ryan
101 total quotations!
12/01/00 Dan: "I'll give you a dollar if you pull out a piece of Mrs. Revel's hair." Phil: (shrewdly) "Ten dollars." Dan: "Twenty dollars!"
12/01/00 #100 Andrew: "How did they get Mussina?" Phil: "Steinbrenner said to Mussina, 'Alright, how much do you want?'" Dan: "Yeah, he was like, 'I'll sell you a boat!'"
11/15/00 "The name of the story should be 'The Three Cats and Mouse-A-Lot.'"
11/15/00 "So in Spanish it would be, 'Los Tres Gatos y Mouse-A-Lot.'"
11/15/00 "I don't know how to say 'Mouse-A-Lot' in Spanish."
11/13/00 "I'm not a common thinker."
11/09/00 "Bush was like, 'Fuzzy money! Fuzzy money!'"
11/09/00 "No seriously, the cow would break its neck.
11/08/00 "I want to put a cow on the roof of the high school."
11/08/00 "Think about it logically, you can't get it down without killing it."
11/08/00 "The cow can't walk down the stairs without falling!"
09/29/00 "I'm not going in to the science department again...as a field."
09/14/00 "Scott would be amazed by the simplicity of the abacus."
09/08/00 Scott: "What would your domain name be?" Dan: "I'd get a picture of Jay Hariton."
09/07/00 Dan: "You're just making me want to throw a carrot at you!"
09/07/00 After throwing a carrot Katz holds a peach and says, "I should have thrown this!"
09/05/00 Dan C.: "Randy randomly jumped up on the table during English today." Katz: "That's because I beat him up second period."
09/01/00 Katz: "Oh, my Gd, why don't you just shoot me?"
09/01/00 Scott: "There are probably thousands of Dan Katz's." Dan: "That's a probably, you don't know."
06/02/00 Dan: "We should call Dan C. schmegegy." Phil: "Why?" Dan: "Because I like that name."
06/01/00 "I don't have any damn quilts!"
05/31/00 "You're quilts are golden!"
05/24/00 Classic Mr. Simonsen: "What are some unwritten rules in society, Dan?" Dan: "Don't put oil on your pizza."
05/24/00 "First of all, I couldn't think of anything, second of all, I was thinking about pizza because I was hungry and I need an oil change for my car."
05/23/00 "She's in the McBand."
05/18/00 "I'm going to change a new leaf."
05/03/00 "She has to keep my laziness in pace."
04/27/00 "Mr. Hariton is like one of those African tribes with the ear lobes down to their ankles."
04/27/00 "I'll record the TV."
03/24/00 "She sounds like Mr. Ed."
03/23/00 "Flips it's a dollar, flip a dollar."
03/23/00 "What would you rather do, work or play with pennies?"
03/22/00 Katz: "He was throwing stuff at my car, so if he came back I was going to hit him." Phil: "That would be stupid." Katz: "No I was temporarily insane!"
03/20/00 "Don't be a cryberry!"
03/16/00 "That's like asking a pig if he likes to sleep in his own mud. The answer is yes. Of course this is taking into consideration that pigs could talk, which they can't."
03/15/00 "My brain is on cruise control."
03/08/00 "You capitalist pigs! You aren't even fit to throw a boomerang half way around the world!"
03/03/00 Dr. Munrow: "What's wrong Dan?" Dan (puzzled): "Zach?"
03/02/00 "I've got a parrot on my computer that sings."
02/28/00 "I'd bite the dogs, and they would bite the masters. There would be a whole lot of biting going on."
02/17/00 "Andrew Brown, the beast from the Middle East!"
02/16/00 Scott: "Are you muttering?" Katz: "Are you blubbering?"
02/15/00 "She's mad at McDonalds!"
02/15/00 After resting his head on an orange, he says, "I'm enlightening myself."
02/15/00 "Navel navel navel navel navel navel navel navel navel!"
02/15/00 "Looks like a bong to me."
02/04/00 Describing what it would be like if Chris and Veshal were lab partners, Katz says, "Chris would be like 'Yo!' and Veshal would be like 'Hoo!'"
01/24/00 "I never had worms!"
01/24/00 Classic "I know for a fact that I never had worms!"
01/06/00 "Veshal is a vampire. He bites people."
01/11/00 "I said bridges, not gridges."
01/05/00 Katz: "Why did you do that?" Phil: "Do what? Katz: "I don't know."
01/03/00 "Hold your bridges!"
01/03/00 "I didn't say that. I don't even remember what I said."
12/20/99 "I'm not a prince. I'm Jewish, but I'm not a prince."
12/20/99 "It's the stupid colon he's laughing at!"
12/20/99 "Why don't you just circle the colon!"
12/20/99 "He only has one legal right to his shoes!"
12/20/99 "There will never be a Pope in Cleaveland!"
12/16/99 "Stop looking at the owls!"
12/16/99 Katz: "He could eat dog biscuits." Phil: "Why eat dog biscuits?" Katz: "Why eat anything?"
12/10/99 "Why don't you just buy a book and put my name on it?"
12/10/99 Emily: "Yeah, I took a picture of Katz." Katz: "No you didn't! You missed!"
12/10/99 Katz: "If I was Antonio Alfonseca [a baseball player], I'd definitely bet fingers. He has eleven!!"
12/10/99 Katz: "I don't bet money." Phil: "What do you bet then?" Katz: "I bet fingers."
12/06/99 Katz: "I'd like to move to New York for just 1 day and then move away." Miguel: "Couldn't you just visit for a day?" Katz pauses to think: "I guess that's a better idea."
12/03/99 Katz: "Jesus Christ!" Mrs. White: "Jesus Christo." Katz: "Jewish."
12/01/99 After Ryan says some gibberish, Katz responds "Guichi Waa!"
11/29/99 Phil: "You didn't know that Pakistan was mostly Muslim." Katz: "Yes I did! They've been fighting the Jews for centuries!"
11/29/99 Katz turns to Ryan and says, "Are you a goat?"
10/28/99 "Mine looks like a tooth."
10/28/99 Admiring the speed with which he ate his lollypop he exclaims, "Katz is like a Hoover vacuum!"
10/27/99 Mr. Kavall: "The slime we make will be non-toxic...." Katz proclaims: "So we can eat it!"
10/26/99 "How dare you throw that piece of tape!"
10/25/99 "There's only ONE place I wouldn't go." (Pauses to think) "Actually three."
10/25/99 "Ryan, do you want to get hit with the turkey?"
10/25/99 Phil: "A shoe won't save your foot if the acid is strong enough." Katz: "No, not if your feet are small!"
10/19/99 "You don't remember. I played football, remember?"
10/19/99 "Plastics are bad...they kill ducks!"
10/19/99 "I said that your finger was my finger."
10/19/99 "I installed it in my book."
10/15/99 Classic "I just heard BOOM, BOOM, BOOM."
10/14/99 "I need the silver to eat. I can't eat without the silver."
10/13/99 Mrs. White shows Katz a gold watch. Mezmerized, he responds, "Alternating."
10/06/99 "Give me the barbequed pig ears!"
10/08/99 Zach: "What is a kitten after its three days old?" Dan: "A kid?"
10/08/99 Dan: "It can't be stupid if you don't hear something!"
10/08/99 Zach: "You didn't skip a line." Dan: "This is only one line!"
10/04/99 (Phil takes off his safety goggles after a lab.) Dan: "You have cuts all over your face!"
09/30/99 "This book is thicker than my head."
09/30/99 "Look guys, my calculator says Casino."
09/23/99 "I'll show you a retard..." (Grabs calculator)
06/17/99 "I'm just saying..." (Makes hand motion) "I'm not saying anything."
06/01/99 "I'm not taking Algebra 3 next year." Phil: "What are you taking then?" Katz: "I'm taking Algebra 3."
06/01/99 "I have never got caught..." (pause) "except once."
03/31/99 "D-O-O-F spells goof."
03/29/99 "I never had cold tea."
03/26/99 "I'm bowling for dollars." (Throws a cookie and pretzel at Randy)
03/24/99 "I make sense."
03/12/99 "It's Miguel on the brain."
03/04/99 #1 Dan Cuzzone: "It's matzah." Katz: "It's maffle?"
